Whatever It Takes
by plainjane
Summary: Sequel to What Would Have Happened...After Lizzie's mother is diagnosed with a potentially life-threatening disease, Lizzie begins to doubt her own plans for the future. Now Playing: Chapter 10!
1. Recap

Okay, before we get started, I've got to mention a few things.  As stated in the summary spot, this is the sequel to What Would Have Happened, which is currently on page 43 or something…that's what I get for disappearing for seven months… Anyway, I've tried to explain things in here so people know what's going on, but I strongly suggest reading the first story; it'll explain a lot (and it's a fairly decent story, so I've been told…).  Now, since the original story was written last year, I need to take some artistic license (I guess) with this one.  So according to this story, the events in the LM movie didn't happen, along with several episodes of LM.  So basically, Lizzie didn't know about Gordo liking her and vice versa.  Pretty simple.  Okay, moving on.  

Right now I know exactly where this story is going to end up, but I'm having a terrible time making the words work the way they should.  So as of right now, additional chapters may be few and very far between.  But that doesn't mean I don't want to hear input on this story.  So if you like it, review.  If you don't, review anyways.

Oh, and one last little note, this chapter and possibly the next chapter or two will be pretty slow because I'm working into things.  I can't jump into things like in the last story; I've got to do some background work.  But I promise it will be worth the wait.  (At least I hope so…)

So, without further adieu…may I present Chapter 1!

    "Argh!!!"

    Lizzie McGuire held back a grin as her roommate sent papers flying across the table in frustration.  Leaning over in her chair to scoop some of the papers off the floor, Lizzie smiled apologetically at a group of students a few tables away, looking furious at the idea of their quiet study time being interrupted by an outburst.

    "Brenna?  Two things…" Lizzie shoved the papers back toward her roommate.  "One, breathe a little, okay?  I promise it'll help.  And two, remember where you are!"  Lizzie looked around the university library.  Though it was summer, many tables in the library were full, mostly with summer students.

    "Oh, they'll get over it." Brenna said lightly, glaring back at the group a few tables away.  "Besides, I'm not being nearly as loud as that one." She added, gesturing to a girl standing near the entrance at the far end of the library, talking loudly on her cell phone.  "Most of us don't need to know every minute detail about her life for the past half an hour!" her voice rising with each word.  The girl on the phone glowered at the two of then and Lizzie couldn't help but laugh along with Brenna as the girl stalked out of the library.  

    "Seriously, though," Brenna shook her head as she turn back to their table, "it's like she thinks we've got nothing more important to do than listen to her whine about whoever… Personally, I can think of plenty of things I'd rather do than spend every waking out filling out these things." She said, gesturing to the piles of medical school applications sitting in front of each of them.  

    "And the piles keep growing!" she exclaimed, eyes hers carefully.  "I swear it wasn't this big five minutes ago!"

    "Now you're just being crazy." Lizzie laughed.  It was true that their piles of application materials were growing bigger by the day with the additions of new application packets from different schools, letters of recommendation from various faculty members and the numerous essays, resumes, and transcripts each application required.  But Lizzie knew that Brenna's slightly erratic behavior was her way of dealing with the stress of the application process.  

    "Y'know, Bren, as much as I'd love to stay and mock the general population of the school with you today, I've got to go or I'll be late."  Lizzie smiled at her roommate as she packed up her numerous applications.  

    "Yeah, I know…volunteering…" Brenna looked at her watch.  "I've got to be at work in an hour myself.  I'll see you later tonight, okay?"

    Lizzie nodded and made her way past the many tables to the library entrance.  Once outside, she felt the dry heat radiating from the sun, not yet high in the sky, and from the pavement below.  She quickened her pace, looking forward to the air conditioning in her car.  

    Not watching where she was walking, Lizzie's foot hit a piece of pavement sticking up at an odd angle and tripped, sending her bag flying off her shoulder.  It flew open as it hit the ground and sent Lizzie's books and notebooks sprawling over the hot pavement.  

    "Typical…" Lizzie berated herself for being so clumsy as she collected papers and stuffed them unceremoniously into a notebook.  Picking up her back and grabbing the last few papers on the ground, Lizzie righted herself and continued the long trek from the campus library to her car.

    Glancing at the last of the papers she'd picked up to make sure they weren't her precious application materials, Lizzie stopped short.  At the top of the small pile of papers in her hand lay a yellowing newspaper clipping bearing the headline, "_Local Celebrity's Death Sparks Medical Controversy."  Lizzie shoved the article and other papers back into her bag and hurried toward the parking lot.  _

    It had been almost a year and a half since the events and aftermath of Ethan's death and Lizzie marveled at how much had changed.  

    The circumstances surrounding Ethan's death from injuries in a car accident had prompted Lizzie to change her focus at the University of Colorado at Denver from pre-vet to pre-med.  Her aspirations for a medical revolution had given Lizzie an enormous amount of motivation and, now, just a year away from graduating, it showed no signs of letting up.  A combination of hard work, luck, and a lot of coffee helped Lizzie maintain her near perfect GPA.  Just over a year ago, she got a job in the laboratory run by her former immunology professor.  At first, Lizzie only did grunt work; washing glassware and stocking the laboratory supplies, but now she ran DNA electrophoresis gels, and analyzed blood samples by flow cytometry, so she felt she was finally getting some real laboratory experience.  Lizzie also volunteered at a local hospital three days a week and she worked as a tutor for the biology department, helping students with basic biology classes.  

    But Ethan's death had done more than just change Lizzie focus in school; it had changed a great deal of her life.  Lizzie's relationship with her family had become stronger than ever, especially with Matt who had just finished his first year of college at UCLA.  She talked with her parents at least once a week and got daily emails from Matt when he was at school.  Lizzie's friendships had also been reinforced in the past year and a half; she was closer with Miranda than ever, despite the distance between them.  Miranda had changed her major at USC to Music Recording and was constantly sending Lizzie new lyrics to songs she had written.  A more drastic change had taken place in Lizzie's relationship with Gordo, who was living half a world away.  Just after Gordo and Lizzie had confronted their feelings for each other, Gordo had received an opportunity he couldn't pass up and now had spend the past year and a half in Australia, working as a film production intern for director Peter Weir.  Lizzie missed him more than she thought possible.

    Lizzie looked at her watch and quickened her pace even more, silently criticizing the school for making the library so far away from the parking lots.  Though it was summer and she wasn't taking any classes, Lizzie worked in the lab five days a week and volunteered at the hospital on weekends.  And she was going to be late to the hospital if she didn't hurry.  


	2. Girls Night In

    Awwww…!  Thank you, thank you, thank you to you guys who reviewed.  They so made my day(s)!  Just a couple notes before we get started…

    Kiamn – I'm glad you appreciate the characters.  I hate it when older characters are written exactly as they were as younger characters, as if they haven't changed.  Big characteristics may stay the same or similar, but everybody changes, even if just a little bit.  And I like Lizzie being intelligent too, and I think it's completely plausible.  I used to be a bit of a goof off, and I'm (somewhat) intelligent now.

    TheRealXenocide –Truth be told, I had left the site.  I spent the last six months reworking my life and now that I'm back, hopefully I'll be able to balance writing with it all a bit better.  

    Keeponwritin – I think it really improves a story when you know what you're writing about.  I'm not pre-med, but I do have a basic understanding of some of the stuff, plus, I'm a geek.  I actually like immunology.  

    Amanda, Jess, WonderGirl – I'm so glad you enjoyed the first story and the beginning of this one.

   Thank you all for your encouragement.  I wish I were as confident about my other stories as I am about this one.

    And since I forgot it last chapter…my disclaimer: I don't own Lizzie McGuire or any other characters.  I don't own any of the schools, websites, books, etc. that may be mentioned in this story.  I don't even really own the idea for this story…got that from a paragraph in a Madeleine L'Engle book…I only own Brenna.

Ok, enough notes.  Without further adieu…on to Chapter Two!

    Lizzie climbed out of her car and checked her watch for what seemed like the thirtieth time that day.  Just after five.  She had worked seven hours at the hospital; she only needed five hours tomorrow to complete her volunteer time for this weekend.  Right now, five hours seemed like an eternity.  Most days Lizzie enjoyed volunteering at the hospital and she liked being in a position to help people, but there were other days where she wanted nothing more than to stay on the couch and watch movies all day.

    As she climbed the stairs to her second floor apartment, she heard music blaring through the open window.  Brenna was cooking again.  She always blasted music when she was cooking.  Lizzie let herself into the apartment and poked her head in the small kitchen.

    "Whatcha making?" she asked, surveying the mess.

    "Orange glazed chicken and those gooey centered chocolate cake things." Brenna replied, pointing to an open recipe book and scattering flour on the flour in the process.

    "Yum." Lizzie declared.  "What's the occasion?"

    "After my little outburst in the library, I decided we needed a treat.  So I'm making dinner and then we're going out dancing tonight.  We both need a break from all this med school crap."

    "Sounds great," Lizzie agreed, "but not before-"

    "I know, I know." Brenna cut in.  "Loverboy calls at eight.  We'll go out after that."

    "Great." Lizzie replied, heading for her room.  She paused and stuck her head back in the doorway.

    "Do you need any help?" She asked, suppressing a grin, "Cause, y'know, there used to be a kitchen under all this mess…"

    "Out!"

    Lizzie ducked as a chocolate bar flew past her head and hit the wall behind her.  She picked it up and unwrapped part of it; it was the perfect appetizer for her no-stress night.

    Two and a half hours later, Lizzie and Brenna had finished their dinner and were sprawled on the couch in their apartment, watching the end of The Lost Boys and working their way through small chocolates cakes.

    "I dunno 'bout you," Brenna mumbled, her mouth full of cake, "but few things make my day like substantial portions of chocolate and an 80's vampire flick."

    "I think I would have to agree." Lizzie grinned at her roommate.  It had been several weeks since they'd had a break from stressing over school, volunteering, work, and applications.  "We need to take a break more often."

    Brenna mumbled something incomprehensible in response, nodding her head.  She swallowed and grinned.  "If you want to just do the dishes, I'll clean up the massive mess I made in there."

    Lizzie nodded and picked up their plates and carried them to the kitchen, or rather, what had once been a kitchen.  Brenna was a great cook, but managed to make some incredible messes while she was at it.  There was even chocolate on the walls.  Lizzie quickly rinsed the dishes and stuck them in the dishwasher.  She'd turn it on when they went out.  

    She wandered back to the couch and flopped on it, poking Brenna, who was now paging through a catalogue for Columbia Medical School.

    "Hey, what happened to our break?" she asked, pulling the catalogue out of Brenna's grasp.

    "I know…worrying is a hard habit to break though." Brenna sighed.  "I'd probably feel a lot better if we had our MCAT scores back…that way I'd know if I had a chance to get into some of these schools."

    "I know what you mean." Lizzie agreed.  Despite their excellent GPA's and extracurriculars, Lizzie knew that their scores on the MCAT would be a deciding factor for which schools accepted them.  While both girls had been assured by their faculty advisors that each of them were top prospects for getting into medical schools, both Lizzie and Brenna faced the next year with a sense of anxiety and –sometimes– near dread.  Brenna, normally soft-spoken and introverted, had become sarcastic and more outspoken during the past few months; it was obvious the stress was slowly getting to her.  Lizzie, in the hopes of avoiding some of the stress, had thrown herself into work and volunteering, and occasionally found herself joining in her roommate's sarcastic humor.

    "Well, the scores are supposed to be mailed to us, what, beginning of June?  There's less than two weeks left in May, so we've probably only got a couple of weeks left to wait."

    "I dunno…" Brenna paused thoughtfully, "knowing that they're only a couple weeks out from coming almost makes the waiting worse.  You just can't win.  Now I know why so few people actually get into medical school; most of them have mental breakdowns during the application process and wind up in mental institutions."

    Lizzie laughed, tonight was definitely a good night to take a break from all the stress; Brenna was really starting to lose it.

    Lizzie checked her watch; it was seven fifty-eight.  Brenna rolled her eyes, about to say something when the phone rang.  Smirking, she tossed the cordless phone to Lizzie and wandered into the kitchen to clean.

    Lizzie took the phone to her room and shut the door as she heard Brenna running water in the kitchen.

    "Hey Gordo."

    "Hey, how was your week?  Has Brenna strangled anyone yet?"

    Lizzie laughed, thrilled as usual to hear Gordo's voice.  The twelve-hour time difference between Australia and Denver made it difficult for Gordo to keep in touch with Lizzie the way he had when he was going to school in New York.  Then between Gordo's sixteen-hour workdays and Lizzie crazy schedule, juggling classes, volunteering and work, neither of the two had the time or the energy to talk at un-Godly hours in the night or morning.  They both emailed each other on a daily basis, but had missed the talking part of their relationship.  They realized very early on in Gordo's time in Australia that talking once a week was probably the most time, and money, either could afford.  So Gordo called Lizzie at 8 a.m. on Sundays, his one day off each week, which for Lizzie was at 8 p.m. on Saturdays.  She didn't mind giving up part of her Saturday nights to talk to Gordo; it was more than worth it to be able to talk to him.

    "My week's been alright, mostly working and filling out those stupid applications." Lizzie replied.  "How about yours?"

    "Eh, the usual." Gordo responded.  "We're supposed to be three weeks away from finishing shooting, "supposed" being the operative word there.  So Peter's a little…unhappy with a few cast members because he's not getting the shots he need from them and we're behind where he wanted to be by now.  And the lead actor tripped on the steps of his trailer yesterday and nearly broke his face, which was mildly amusing, because, if I haven't mentioned it before, the guy's a complete shmuck.  

    "I think you might have mentioned that once or twice." Lizzie grinned.  "So once you're done filming, then what?"

    "Well, we've got to do film editing, sound effects, digital effects, voiceovers, and probably thirty other things I'm forgetting or don't know about.  But it looks like we may be coming back to L.A. to do all the work there once we finish filming.  I know you'll be in Denver for another year and I'll be working like a madman, but at least we'll be in similar time zones."

    "That's great!" Lizzie's excitement was evident over the phone.  

    The conversation soon shifted from Gordo's work to Lizzie's school.  Gordo knew all that was going on from the several emails per week Lizzie sent him.  "Have you had anymore luck deciding where to apply?" he asked.

    Lizzie sighed.  "Not much.  I've still got applications for about twenty different schools and I haven't done much research on any of them.  I've really got to get going on that so I can get my applications in by the end of June."

    "That soon, huh?" Gordo asked.

    "Well, I can turn them in later, the deadlines aren't for a while, but I've got a better chance of getting in if I get my stuff in early." Lizzie told him shortly.  Lizzie was still angry with herself for not paying enough attention to her applications.  She had spent all her time during the spring semester concentrating on the MCAT and her difficult classes, including biochemistry, taught by a man who was quite possibly the devil himself.  Just after finals, during the first week of May, Lizzie realized she had let everything else slide, most importantly, the applications.  High MCAT scores and a stellar GPA wouldn't do her any good if she didn't get into med school.  Both she and Brenna had kicked themselves into high gear and were catching up with where they should be, but Lizzie was still irritated that she had gotten into this situation in the first place.

    Lizzie and Gordo talked for a while longer and Lizzie could hardly believe it when she glanced at her clock and saw that it read 9:30.  Just then, Gordo said, "Hey Lizzie, I've got to go.  Despite the fact it's my day off, I've still got a lot of work to do."

    "Yeah, I should go to.  Bren and I are gonna go dancing tonight." Lizzie replied.  "I'm actually surprised she's not pounding my door down right now."

    "Have fun.  And remember, no going home with crazy drunk guys.  At least, not more than three." Gordo joked.

    "Yeah," Lizzie agreed.  "Most of them are pretty sketchy anyways."

    After a pause, Gordo voice came back over the line.  "I miss you."

    "I miss you too."

    "Bye."

    "Bye." 

    "Goodnight, Lizzie." Gordo told her firmly, knowing she hadn't hung up.

    "Good morning Gordo." Lizzie pressed the off button on the phone, laughing.

    Lizzie wandered back out to the main room of the apartment, hung up the phone and turned to find Brenna sound asleep on the couch, snoring lightly, with The Mummy playing on the TV.

    Laughing, Lizzie pulled the blanket on the couch over he sleeping roommate, and settled down in the chair with a pillow.  Somehow spending the evening with vampires and mummies seemed a little safer than spending it being harassed by drunk guys.  And maybe a little more enjoyable too.  


	3. The Beginning

my disclaimer: I don't own Lizzie McGuire or any other LM characters.  I don't own any of the schools, websites, books, etc. that may be mentioned in this story.  I don't even really own the idea for this story…got that from a paragraph in a Madeleine L'Engle book…I only own Brenna.  The lecture text used in the chapter is not mine; it's from Kuby _Immunology_, the Mayo Clinic Family Health Book, and the Harvard Family Medical Guide.

Ok, just a few notes…some people may find this chapter boring or over their heads…that's fine.  I had to do a lot of research so that this stuff wouldn't be over my head…and a good part of it still is.  However, I need to include most of this so that what goes on later makes sense.  So bear with me.  And, just a fair warning, this next chapter may take me several weeks to write; for a couple of reasons.  1) I need to do a lot more research for it.  I understand the immunological stuff going on here, but I'm completely lost on the clinical stuff that I need for the rest of the story, so give me some time to work that out.  2) I'd like to thank my evil sadistic work for not giving me anytime off and having me open at 8:30 in the mornings…big thanks to y'all…you suck!  I can't wait to quit!  Ok, enough ranting…

And thanks to everyone who's reviewed so far…keep reviewing…if you like it, even if you hate it!  And if you don't care either way, tell me your favorite cookie…mine's butterscotch chip…

Ok, enough notes.  Without further adieu…on to Chapter Three!

    Lizzie finished her volunteering hours by early afternoon on Sunday and decided to spend the rest of her day doing some research on med schools.  Not wanting to deal with her slow computer and even slower dial up Internet connection, she headed to the school library.  After finding an empty computer, Lizzie realized she wasn't entirely sure how she should go about her research and finally decided to go school by school.  She started with some of the top schools, schools that had sent her applications, but she knew she didn't have much of a chance to get into.  She went through Columbia, Harvard, Stanford, Mayo, and began searching other schools.  

    After nearly four hours of research, Lizzie gave up in frustration.  Each school had their strong points and an area of medicine they emphasized, but aside from that, the schools were overwhelmingly similar.  Since she wasn't sure yet of which area in medicine she wanted to go into, Lizzie thought her best option was to apply to the ones that were in interesting states or cities.  It seemed like a terrible way to pick a medical school, but Lizzie wasn't sure what else to do.

    Four days later Lizzie still hadn't made any headway on her med school decisions.  After working for nine hours in her lab, Lizzie came home to her empty apartment; she assumed Brenna was still at work.  She sat herself down on the floor in the main room of her apartment with a bowl of Cocoa Puffs and a banana – not the most nutritious dinner, but safer than if she'd tried to cook something herself – and surrounded herself with her Mayo Clinic medical reference book, a massive guide to medical schools in the U.S., several booklets from various medical schools, her medical terminology lecture book and her laptop.  She figured the only way to start narrowing down her list of schools to apply to was to figure out what areas of medicine she was interested in.

    She logged onto the Princeton Review website, her new favorite website since she'd found a class to help her study for the MCATs.  Intending to research separate schools as she'd been doing, Lizzie clicked on the "Medical" school button and instead found a series of article on getting into and choosing med schools.  Clicking on the first one, on comparing med schools, she began to read.

    Half an hour later, Lizzie felt like she was making more progress than she had all week.  She knew she wanted to work in clinical practice as opposed to doing laboratory research, and discovered that helped narrow her options down quite a bit.  And she realized she didn't have to know exactly what area of medicine she wanted to work in just yet; she wouldn't have to decide until her second or third year of med school.  She jotted down a list of about fifteen schools to do some more research on and logged off and shut down her computer.

    Just then, the phone rang and Lizzie jumped,, not expecting it and nearly spilled her half empty bowl of cereal.  After steadying her bowl. Lizzie lunged for the phone, which was sitting on the coffee table in front of her, lying under her thirty-pound reference book.

    "Hello?"

    "Lizzie?"

    "Matt?  Is that you?" Lizzie couldn't tell.  He sounded so quiet and…young.  Something was wrong.

    "Yeah."

    "Matt, what is it?"  The suspense was driving Lizzie crazy.

    "It's Mom.  She's in the hospital."

    Lizzie dropped the phone and pressed her hands to her temples, squeezing her eyes, trying to block out the memories.  She wasn't sure how long she sat that way.

    "Lizzie?  Can I come in?"  Her mother tapped on her bedroom door.  Lizzie, enjoying the second day of her winter break in her junior year, was lying on her stomach on her bed, reading a Harry Potter book for the twelfth time.

    "Sure Mom." She answered, setting the book beside her and sitting up.

    "How are you doing?" her mother asked, sitting on the bed next to her.

    "I'm happy to have a bit of a break. "Lizzie replied honestly.  "This last semester was pretty rough."

    Her mother smiled.  "Lizzie, there's something I need to talk to you about."

    Lizzie stared at her mom, a feeling of unease growing inside of her.  "Okay." She responded slowly.

    "You know I haven't been feeling well for some of the last several months." Her mother began.  Lizzie nodded.  In their weekly phone calls, her mother had mentioned she thought she was getting the flu a couple of times.  In other conversations, she mentioned she'd seen their doctor about it.

    "Well, Dr. Haley referred me to a specialist, Dr. Cooney.  She's been running some tests on me the past few months and the last of the results came in a couple of days ago."

    "Oh my God, you have cancer." Lizzie immediately jumped to the worst conclusion she could think of.  Her mother laughed.

    "No.  I don't have cancer."  Lizzie sighed, relieved but confused.

    "Then what…?"

    "I've been diagnosed with a disease called systemic lupus erythematosus.  It's what's called an autoimmune disease, which means–"

    "That your immune system is recognizing parts of your body as foreign and attacking them." Lizzie recited, fresh from a semester of immunology.

    "Right." Lizzie's mother smiled again.  "Now–"

    "What's it attacking?" Lizzie interrupted.

    "What?" Lizzie's mother looked surprised.

    "What is your immune system attacking?" Lizzie repeated.

    "My red blood cells and platelets." Her mother told her, looking slightly amused.

    "Oh." Lizzie sat back thinking.  Her immunology class had only spent one lecture on autoimmunity and about ten minutes on lupus, so she was now at a loss.

    "My specific case isn't serious." Her mother continued.  "I have some of the normal symptoms, fatigue, bruising, and a little bit of arthritis in my wrists, but Dr. Cooney doesn't expect we'll have any other problems or any complications.  I only wanted you and Matt to know so you wouldn't worry if you noticed I was more tired or feeling weaker than usual."

    "Okay." Lizzie said hesitantly.

    Her mother gave her a hug and said, "I'm glad you decided to come home for Christmas.  It wouldn't have been the same without you."  Lizzie smiled.  "Dinner's in half an hour, alright?"

    Lizzie nodded and picked up her book, hiding behind it.  When she heard her mom shut her bedroom door, she tossed the book aside and sat down in front of her computer.  She logged onto the Internet and pulled up the CU–Denver webpage.  She found the page for her immunology class, clicked on the lecture that included autoimmune diseases and quickly found what she was looking for.

_Another important non-specific autoimmunity is systemic lupus erythematosus (SLE), a chronic rheumatic disease characterized by multiple auto-antibody production against targets such as cell nuclei and cytoplasmic proteins, DNA, histones, host immunoglobulins, red blood cells, platelets and others.  Interaction of these auto-antibodies with their specific antigens produces various symptoms, including fever, weakness, arthritis, shin rashes, pleurisy, hemolytic anemia and thrombocytopenia.  _

_These reactions can cause substantial immune complex formation in some people, leading to Type III hypersensitivity.  The immune complexes activate the complement system and generate membrane-attack complexes and complement split products that damage the wall of the blood vessel, resulting in vasculitis and glomerulonephritis, which may cause kidney damage and failure._

    Lizzie stopped reading and tried to digest what she had just read.  She understood most of the first paragraph; it just meant that a person's immune system recognized specific things, like a cell nucleus or DNA, as being foreign and attacked it.  However, she couldn't remember what hemolytic anemia and thrombocytopenia were.  She opened another window and pulled up WebMD.  Looking up each of the terms, she found that hemolytic anemia was a loss of blood cell due to their destruction.  In the case of lupus, the loss was because the red blood cells were being destroyed.  Thrombocytopenia was a shortage of platelets in the blood, causing a bleeding disorder; which included the symptom of bruising.  So far this agreed with what her mom had told her.

    The second paragraph was infinitely more difficult.  Though they were included in the lectures, her immunology professor hadn't spent a lot of time going over specifics of diseases and reactions; as it was a 300 level course, he just wanted his students to understand the basics of immunology.  As much as she could get from it, the paragraph told her that lupus could cause kidney damage or failure in some people.  Lizzie didn't dwell on that one too long; kidney failure could be dealt with easily these days, with transplants.  She went back to the lecture and read the last paragraph about lupus.

_SLE affects about 1 in 3,000 to 4,000 people in the United States, and affects women nearly ten times more than men.  For most people, the disease is mild; about 20% recover from it spontaneously.  Many others can lead a normal life, even with the chronic symptoms.  However, for a small percentage of people, the disease cannot be controlled and its effects are devastating.  For about 2% to 3% of affected people, it is fatal, despite all therapeutic efforts._

    Lizzie sat in front of her computer in stunned silence, reading the last sentence over and over again.


	4. Waiting for Answers

my disclaimer: I don't own Lizzie McGuire or any other LM characters.  I don't own any of the schools, websites, books, etc. that may be mentioned in this story.  I don't even really own the idea for this story…got that from a paragraph in a Madeleine L'Engle book…I only own Brenna.  

Mwahahahaha!!!  I'm in a fabulously good mood today!  I quit my job…(YAY!, no more pizza!) and my kitchen manager made me a giant cookie with ice cream and whipped cream…yummy… And I would also like to damn my computer for being the biggest p.o.s. ever and the video card for overheating. Thanks…you made my day.  Ok, moving on. 

Just a few notes this time…again, some people may find parts of this chapter boring or over their heads…that's fine.  I'm just trying to set everything up and give some background info…plus, I'm the world's biggest science geek, and I love this stuff!  And I know I said this chapter would take a while, but since I quit my job today, I had some free time to write.  I'm going to try and keep the story moving along pretty quickly, since when school starts in two weeks, I'm going to have to cut my writing time down quite a bit.  And(!), I had another idea for a Lizzie story…so I may start working on that, or I may wait until this one is finished…it depends on my how other fics go… TheRealXenocide – thanks for the compliment…I figure if I'm going to be spending my life doing research, I'd better know how to use it!

And thanks to everyone who's reviewed so far…keep reviewing!!!…if you like it, even if you hate it!  And if you don't care either way, tell me your favorite cookie…mine's butterscotch chip…mmm…

Ok, enough notes.  Without further adieu…on to Chapter Four!

    Two days later, Lizzie was on a plane home to Los Angeles.  Or, she would be headed to Los Angeles once she stopped in Houston for a layover.  Lizzie couldn't understand why the cheapest flight from Denver to L.A. went through Houston, but she wasn't in a position to argue.  As much as she wanted to get home, money was a big concern right now; her top priority was saving for med school.

    Leaning back in her seat and closing her eyes, Lizzie recalled the last 48 hours.

    She wasn't sure how long she sat on the couch, head in her hands, trying to block out the world.  When she came to, she called the first person who came to mind; Gordo.  She knew the call was overseas and very expensive and Brenna would probably kill her when she got the phone bill, but she didn't care.  She needed to talk to him.  She dialed the digits and listened as it rang on the other end.  

    "C'mon Gordo…" she muttered impatiently as it rang.

    After the fourth rang, someone picked up.

    "'lo?" a voice mumbled.

    "Gordo?" Lizzie asked, unsure if she had dialed the right number.

    "Lizzie?" came Gordo's weary voice.  "Do you know what time it is?"

    "Oh God…" Lizzie had forgotten about the time difference.  It was now 4:30 in the morning in Australia!  "Gordo, I'm so sorry…It's just– I just– and…" Lizzie fought for control as a sob rose in her throat.

    "Lizzie, calm down!  Take a few breaths." Gordo now sounded fully awake and very worried.  "Now tell me what happened."

    Lizzie took several breaths and tried to control herself.  "My mom's in the hospital.  Matt said it's the lupus."

    "Do you know what happened?" Gordo asked gently.

    "Didn't you just hear me." Lizzie cried, her voice wavering.  "It's her lupus!"

    "Lizzie, calm down." Gordo said again.  "Now correct me if I'm wrong, but can't lupus cause a lot of different things?  Do you know exactly why your mom is in the hospital?"

    "No, Matt said they didn't know yet.  They won't know until they run some tests."

    "So there's a pretty good chance that it's not anything serious, right?  I mean, she hasn't had any major problems so far…other than actually having the disease.

    Lizzie sighed.  "I suppose…I just keep remembering that one statistic… 'for about 2% - 3% of people, the disease is fatal, despite all efforts.'  I'm so scared that's gonna be her."

    Lizzie returned to the present as a "ding" indicated that the seatbelt sign had been turned back on.

    "Ladies and gentlemen," a flight attendant spoke over the intercom, "we are now beginning our final descent into Houston.  We ask that you return your seatbacks and tray tables to their upright and locked position and make sure your seatbelts are securely fastened.  Thank you."

    Minutes later, the plane landed and parked at the gate at the Houston airport.  Backpack in hand, Lizzie exited the airplane and searched for the gate for her next flight.  After finding it, she checked in.  Because her flight from Denver had taken off late, she only had half an hour to wait before the flight to L.A. left.  She bought a magazine and a soda from a small newsstand and wandered around a bit, sipping her soda, waiting for her flight to be called.  

    After boarding the plane, Lizzie flipped through her magazine aimlessly, and tossed it aside.  She reached into her bag and pulled out a book on lupus she had bought last December when her mother was diagnosed with SLE.  She had started reading it, but had to put it aside when school started again.

    Several hours later, Lizzie had learned quite a bit more about the disease.  There is no cure for SLE, and no one is sure what causes it.  Some researches believe it may be caused by a number of factors, including genetic markers and possible environmental factors, such as viruses.  While there is no cure, medication can be used to treat the symptoms.  Antimalarials, drugs originally used to fight malaria, can help improve skin rashes, joints, and fatigue.  Anti-inflammatory drugs can be used for joint stiffness, swelling and pain and immunosuppressants are used to contain the direct effects of the infected individual's immune system.  A group of drugs called corticosteroids, the most often prescribed medications for lupus, also work as anti-inflammatories and in controlling the immune system.  As Lizzie already knew, there were more serious side effects, including anemia and kidney problems.  Lizzie wished Matt had told her if her mother had any symptoms.  She hated no knowing what was wrong.

    By this time the plane was descending into LAX and Lizzie was home.  She was one of the first ones off the plane and practically sprinted to the baggage claim, where she found her father and brother waiting for her.  After long hugs from each of them, Matt grabbed her suitcase and the three of them headed out into the warm late afternoon sun, on the way to the car.

    "As of this morning, they're still waiting on some tests," Lizzie's father told her, "but I think they've been able to narrow it down to a few things.  Of course, I don't really understand much of it, so I could be wrong."

    Lizzie nodded.  There was a tense silence for the rest of the ride to the airport; even Matt seemed at a loss for words.

    They pulled into a parking space at the hospital and walked in through the front entrance.  Lizzie had only been to this hospital a few times; when she was born, of course, but she was too little to remember.  She had also been here when Matt was born, and remembered very little of that.  Actually, the only thing she remembered was that the hospital cafeteria had lime Jell-o.  And the only other time was in second grade when she fell off her bike and broke her arm.  And that time she had been in the emergency room; walking through the lobby of the hospital, it seemed like a completely different world to her.

    Lizzie, Matt and their dad got on the elevator and took it to the fourth floor, where they got off.  Lizzie's dad led them down a long hallway and then through a door on their left into another hallway.  Lizzie tried to keep her eyes in front of her.  The hallways smelled of antiseptics and chemicals and Lizzie fought through a bout of nausea.  Though she volunteered in a hospital, she only worked as a receptionist on the ground floor; she never had to venture further than that.  

    Lizzie's dad stopped at a closed door, knocked softly and stuck his head in.  Lizzie heard whispers and her father opened the door wider so she and Matt could walk through.  Stepping into the room, the nausea returned as Lizzie stared in horror.

    Her mother looked so small and frail in the hospital bed.  She was hooked up to an I.V. unit and several other machines with wires.  Her face was pail and her eyelids sagged.  She looked exhausted as she fought to smile at her children.  Tears welled up in Lizzie's eyes as her mother tried to wave.  Suddenly, she couldn't take it anymore and ran from the room, tears pouring down her cheeks.


	5. Test Results

my disclaimer: I don't own Lizzie McGuire or any other LM characters.  I don't own any of the schools, websites, books, etc. that may be mentioned in this story.  I don't even really own the idea for this story…got that from a paragraph in a Madeleine L'Engle book…I only own Brenna and Dr. Hensen.  

Ok, as I warned everybody in the first chapter, updates are going to start being very few and far between, for a couple reasons.  Mainly, classes are starting again, so I've got to spend a lot of time studying to do well this semester (I hate O-chem!).  I am going to try to spend a little time every night working on one of my stories, but I've got five in progress now, so it may take some time.  But don't worry, I haven't forgotten about this story, and I'm always thrilled to hear what you think about it!  So, go on, hit the little review button at the bottom of the page…  And, I've got a new computer now, so it'll make things much easier now…thank God.

And thanks to everyone who's reviewed so far…keep reviewing!!!…if you like it, even if you hate it!  And if you don't care either way, tell me your favorite cookie…mine's butterscotch chip…mmm…

Ok, enough notes.  Without further adieu…on to Chapter Five!

   Lizzie's family was soon told by the head nurse they had to leave the hospital; mostly because visiting hours were over and partly, Lizzie felt, because of her outburst.  

    "We can come back tomorrow." Lizzie's father told his kids quietly as they left the hospital.

    The ride home was as silent as the one to the hospital; Sam and Matt both saying nothing.  Lizzie spent the ride leaning her head against the window, staring out at nothing in particular, but the image of her mother in the hospital bed replaying over and over in her mind.

    Once they reached the house, Lizzie grabbed her suitcase and bag and carried them to her room.  Matt appeared in her doorway briefly but seemed at a loss for words.  Without bothering to change out of her clothes, Lizzie collapsed onto her bed, exhausted and stressed and anxious and upset.  Sleep found her quickly.

    Lizzie awoke to sun streaming through her window.  She glanced at the unfamiliar clock.  Disoriented, her first thought was, _It's Saturday, I have be at volunteering in an hour_.  Slowly, she realized where she was.

    The phone ringing jerked her completely awake.  She heard her father answer it downstairs and pulled herself out of bed.  She met Matt in the hall and the two walked downstairs to the kitchen together, anxiously wondering about the phone call.  

    Lizzie's dad was hanging up the phone when Lizzie and Matt appeared in the kitchen.  "I made you guys some breakfast." He said pointing to the counter.  "That was the hospital.  They have the results of you mom's tests available and you mom wants us all down there to hear them." 

    Matt nodded.  Lizzie's stomach churned, she wasn't sure she could stomach anymore time in that little room in the hospital, seeing her mother so pale and helpless.  Matt sat down and helped himself to a biscuit.  Lizzie knew she couldn't eat right now; her stomach wouldn't take it.  She turned back towards the stairs.

    "Lizzie?" Her father's voice was tentative, worried.

    "I'm not very hungry." Lizzie turned and answered, forcing a smile on her face.  "I'm just gonna go get changed."

    Her father nodded and Lizzie slowly climbed the stairs to her room.  She rummaged through her suitcase for some unwrinkled clothes and changed.  She grabbed her toothbrush, made her way to the bathroom, brushed her teeth and washed her face.  She pulled her hair back into a ponytail and looked at her reflection in the mirror.  She looked like she hadn't slept in days, which matched how she felt.  She had dark circles under her eyes, her eyelids felt heavy.  But she knew this was nothing compared to what her mother was going through.

    "Thank you for coming in today.  I know it means a lot to Jo to have you all here."  A woman in her early thirties entered the room holding a clipboard and everyone looked at her expectantly.  She turned to Lizzie's mother.

    "How are you feeling today, Jo?  Alright, so far?"  Lizzie's mother smiled and nodded from her hospital bed.  The woman then turned to Lizzie, Matt and Sam, who were seated in chairs at the foot of the bed.  

    "I'm Dr. Kerry Hensen." She introduced herself, smiling.  "You must be Sam, Matt and Lizzie.  Pleased to meet all of you." She shook each of their hands.  

    "Now," She said, turning to her clipboard, "we've got your test results back, Jo.  I'll go through them all and explain them for you."  She turned to Lizzie, Matt and Sam, "I like my patients to have at least a basic understanding of what's happening with their illness.  It's easier to face it and fight it if you understand what it is."  They all nodded.

    "Okay.  Jo, as you know, we reran an ANA test, and had you go through a chest X-ray, an ECG, a CBC, and a BUN assessment.  ANA's are antinuclear antibodies, or the parts of your immune system that are reacting with proteins on the nuclei of your cells.  Now, your ANA level is elevated, but it hasn't changed from the last time we tested it, so that's usually normal for lupus patients.  I ordered the chest X-ray and the ECG, an electrocardiogram, because those would be able to indicate inflammation either in the chest or near the heart, which can lead to complications.  However, both of those came back normal, so we don't need to worry about heart or chest problems.  The CBC is what we call a complete blood count, which would determine if you have a deficiency of any of your blood cells.  You do have a slight deficit of both red blood cells and platelets, however, those were the causes of the symptoms that your diagnosis was based on, so, again, that's not what we're looking for.  But we'll keep an eye on your levels, just in case."  Jo nodded.  Sam and Matt each had a blank look on their faces; they were obviously lost.  But Lizzie was absorbing everything Dr. Hensen had to say.

    "We also checked your level of blood borne oxygen derived from urea, using a BUN, or blood urea nitrogen, assessment.  And the levels were higher than they should be.  A high level of nitrogen can suggest kidney dysfunction.  But we can't determine anything from this one test, so we're going to run two different tests, which will be able to tell us for certain.  Do you have any questions?"

    Lizzie sat still; trying to process what had just been said.  Sam and Matt shook their heads, but Jo spoke up.

    "What other tests will you run?"

    "The first is a test that checks the creatinine levels in your blood.  A high creatinine level will indicate that your kidneys are malfunctioning.  And I would like to perform a kidney biopsy.  That would involve removal of a small amount of kidney tissue, which would undergo microscopic examination in the lab.  However, the procedure is not without risks.  It is considered a surgical procedure and we treat it as such.  We won't perform the procedure unless you feel it would be considered valuable."  Dr. Hensen told Jo honestly.  

    "The creatinine test, that will be able to indicate if my kidney is malfunctioning, right?" Dr. Hensen nodded.  "So why is the biopsy necessary?"

    "The kidney biopsy isn't necessary.  The creatinine assessment will indicate whether your kidneys are functioning correctly or not.  The biopsy will allow us to possibly determine exactly why they may be malfunctioning.  But it isn't necessary at all and is completely up to you."

    "I think…" Jo trailed off, still deciding, "I think we should just do the creatinine test for now."

    "All right." Dr. Hensen agreed.  "I will warn you though; if the results of the creatinine assessment come back inconclusive, we will have to perform the biopsy.  However, that rarely happens.  But you should be aware of that chance."  Jo nodded.

    "What happens after the test?" Lizzie asked, her own voice startling her.  Her nausea had returned the moment she entered the hospital room and was surprised she could talk without being sick.

    "Well, Lizzie, it could tell us two different things.  One, your mother's kidneys are functioning normally.  In which case we'll have to run a few more tests and continue to try to find out why your mom collapsed.  Two, her kidneys are malfunctioning.  In this case, there are several reasons for kidney dysfunction, but the most common one seen in lupus is chronic kidney failure, which happens over time.  There is no cure for this, but we can do things to alleviate the symptoms and to slow the progression."  Dr. Hensen paused and looked at Lizzie for a moment.

    "But sometimes in cases of lupus, chronic kidney failure most often ends in what we call end-stage kidney disease, which means the complete failure of the kidneys.  There are only two treatments for this.  The first one is called dialysis.  There are two different forms, but they both act in place of the kidneys by removing extra fluid, chemicals and wastes from the blood.  This treatment is highly effective, however, it requires a great deal of time to work; a minimum of 6 to 12 hours of dialysis sessions per week.  The second option is a kidney transplant.  We replace your mother's failing kidney with a functional one from a donor.  While this procedure also has some risks, kidney transplants are highly successful and is the option with the largest possibility for continuing to lead a normal life."

    Matt's eyes had grown huge at the idea and Sam looked pale.

    "What if it's not chronic kidney failure?" Lizzie countered.

    "Well, there are several, less serious, kidney diseases that can be treated or cured with medication and other therapies."

    Lizzie nodded, her mind racing and her stomach still churning.

    "Do you have any other questions right now?" Dr. Hensen asked.  No one said anything.

    "Okay, then I'll have an nurse come and draw some blood for the creatinine test and we'll have the results for you by tomorrow."

    Lizzie was still deep in thought when they returned home from the hospital.  She settled herself in her room and tried to take her mind off things with one of her favorite books.  But she was having a hard time concentrating on it.  Eventually she wandered down the hall to Matt's room and knocked on the door.

    "Yeah?"  Matt was back to sounding like his usual self, except he was less talkative than usual.

    "Can I come in?"

    "Sure."

    Lizzie opened the door and found Matt sitting on the floor, leaning against the bed and playing a video game.

    "Can I ask you something?"

    He raised an eyebrow at her, which Lizzie took as a sign to continue.  

    "What happened?"

    Matt paused his game and looked at her.  She could tell she knew exactly what she was talking about; he didn't have to ask.  She sat down cross-legged on his floor.

    "It was normal at first, I guess.  I don't really remember.  I had just gotten home from work and was tired and not paying attention to much.  I heard Mom say she was going to skip dinner; that she'd been feeling a bit sick all day and I looked up and she just fainted."  Matt paused.

    "It's not like they made it look on TV." He added in a funny voice.  "She didn't just fall over backward like that.  She swayed for a moment and looked really disoriented and then she just crumbled." Matt's voice cracked on the last word and he shut his eyes for a second to regain composure.

    "I'm sorry Matt." Lizzie said.  "I shouldn't have asked."

    "It's alright." He replied, his voice back to normal.  "It's hard for all of us.  Sometimes I wish I just understood what exactly was going on; why it's all happening.  I think it would make it easier.

    Lizzie attempted a smile at her brother and he returned it.

    _It's not_, Lizzie thought to herself.


	6. How To Deal

my disclaimer: I don't own Lizzie McGuire or any other LM characters.  I don't own any of the schools, websites, books, etc. that may be mentioned in this story.  I don't even really own the idea for this story…got that from a paragraph in a Madeleine L'Engle book…I only own Brenna and Dr. Hensen.  

I know this is going a little slow, and I appreciate you all for sticking with me, I promise it'll pick up soon and I can also promise that Gordo will make an appearance.  So, hold on…it'll be worth it.  I hope…

As always, I would love to hear what anybody and everybody thinks so far, so click the review button for me!

Without further adieu…on to Chapter Six…

    A week and a half later, Lizzie was still at home.  Her mother had been diagnosed with chronic kidney failure, which was both a relief and a burden.  She had begun dialysis treatments and had been placed on a waiting list for a transplant kidney.  She had been released from the hospital a week ago, but had to spend twelve hours a week at the hospital, hooked up to a dialysis machine.  The family was taking turns going with Jo to the hospital and waiting with her through the treatments; Sam had taken her the first day, Matt a few days after and Lizzie was scheduled to go with her mother today and was looking to it was a sense of dread.

    Lizzie was also going crazy at home.  It was difficult to find enough to do to fill the hours and not spend all her time worrying.  Her father was obviously working and Matt had his job at Pete's Pizza to keep him away from home.  And now that her mother was home, it made things more difficult.  She spent a lot of time in bed and depended on Lizzie to take care of the house.  Lizzie also put herself in charge of her mom's medication, making sure she took the right pills at the right time and didn't sleep through and skip a dose.  She also monitored her mother's diet, something Dr. Hensen said would help slow the progression of kidney failure.  Despite those responsibilities, Lizzie tried to spend as little time in her mother's room as possible; whenever she was in there, she felt like crying.  Lizzie couldn't look at her mom anymore without seeing her hooked up to wires and machines.  

    So Lizzie began spending any spare moments she wasn't helping or taking care of her mother locked in her room, writing emails, reading, and working on her med school applications, doing anything she could do pass the hours.  Most of her time was spent writing emails to Gordo, Brenna and Miranda and she spent a good amount of time reading books and information about lupus and kidney failure.  And Lizzie noticed that she wasn't spending as much time on her med school applications as she had back in Colorado.  She told herself that it was because she had other things to worry about or it was because Brenna wasn't here to offer encouragement.  But in the back of her mind Lizzie had a sinking feeling that wasn't why she was letting her applications slide.  She was scared.

    Her reaction to her mother being in the hospital terrified her.  For a year and a half, Lizzie was sure she would make a good doctor, because she liked to help people.  She worked hard in her increasingly difficult classes, spending hours upon hours to make sure she understood all she could about each topic.  And now that she was coming face to face with exactly what she had been learning about, she could barely function.  How on earth could she ever be a doctor if she constantly got nauseous?

    Lizzie drove her mother to the hospital and helped get her situated for her next treatment.  A nurse they now knew as Becky helped Jo into a chair and placed Jo's arms on the padded table in front of her.  Becky inserted two needles into Jo's arm; the needles fed into a tube that connected a major vein and artery and had been surgically placed before Jo's first dialysis treatment.  The needles were connected to two tubes which fed into the dialysis machine.

    Lizzie stood in one corner of the room, feeling distinctly uncomfortable and her mother must have noticed.

    "Lizzie, why don't go down to the cafeteria and get something to eat; you look a little pale." Her mother told her.  Lizzie nodded, relieved to be given an excuse to leave the room.

    "Are you sure you'll be alright?" she double checked with her mom. 

    "Sure, sweetie.  I've been through this before.  And Becky will be just down the hall if I need anything." Her mother reassured her.

    Lizzie nodded again and left the room.  She followed the hallway to the elevator, took it down three floors and found the cafeteria.  Aside from a few tables of doctors and other medical staff on their breaks, the room was empty.  Lizzie bought herself a cup of coffee and sat down at a table on the far side of the room.  Setting her bag on the table, she began to pull her college application materials out of it.  Lizzie knew her mothers dialysis treatment would be about three hours long, so Lizzie had come prepared.  Whether she actually got any work done or not would be another story.

    Lizzie knew she should be working hard on her applications.  Brenna had called two nights ago to tell Lizzie that their MCAT scores had arrived and she had put Lizzie's in the mail to her.  Now Lizzie was partially dreading receiving her scores.  Brenna had done well, but Lizzie had several nagging doubts about her test.

    "Working hard?" A voice from behind her startled Lizzie out of her thoughts.  She looked up to see Dr. Hensen standing next to the table, holding a food tray.  

    "Not really." Lizzie replied sheepishly.  "I'm trying to work on my med school applications, but I can't seem to get very far."

    "I see," replied Dr. Hensen.  She pulled out the chair across from Lizzie, asking, "May I?"  Lizzie nodded and she sat down, placing her tray in front of her.  

    "Are you having trouble with the essays?" she asked, unwrapping her sandwich and taking a bite.

    "Not really." Lizzie had written a couple already and she hadn't felt like she'd had too much trouble writing them.

    "That's good." Dr. Hensen replied.  "I knew a lot of pre-med students who were fabulous scientists, but if you asked them to write a paper or a speech, they had no idea where to start."  She took another bite of sandwich and chewed for a moment.  "Where are you thinking of applying?" She asked after swallowing.

    "I've got several places in mind." Lizzie responded.  "I've got a few long shots and then some schools that I have more of a chance of getting into.  But my first choice is probably Stanford."

    Dr. Hensen grinned.  "An excellent school." She told Lizzie.  "That's where I went to medical school.  It's incredibly tough, but then, most med schools are."

    Lizzie nodded.  "I'm also gonna apply to Columbia, the University of Washington, Oregon Health and Science University, and the med schools at UCLA and USC, because they're close to home.  It would be nice to be near my mom."

    "I know she would like that." Dr. Hensen smiled.  "But I also know she wouldn't want you to stay here just because of her if you really wanted to be somewhere else."

    Tears suddenly came to Lizzie's eyes and she blinked them back, nodding.  Dr. Hensen obviously noticed and set down her sandwich.

    "But essays and being close to home aren't the only things that are bothering you right now."  It was more of a question than a statement and Lizzie nodded again.  She took a deep breath, still holding back tears.

    "It's just…since I decided I wanted to be a doctor, I thought I'd be a good one.  I mean, sometimes the technical stuff is over my head, but I always want to help people and make sure they're okay.  But when I came home and saw my mom in the hospital and I couldn't do anything…I just mentally froze.  I know enough to be able to help her more than I do.  But I just can't do it.  It's so painful to see her like this.  So now I can't help but think what's going to happen when I have to face patients?  Not just my mom, but real people with real, serious medical problems.  What happens if I freeze then?"  Lizzie heard her voice rise and all her tears finally spilled over.

    Dr. Hensen smiled sympathetically and handed Lizzie a paper napkin to wipe her tears.  "I do know a couple things that may make this easier for you." She said.  Lizzie wiped her eyes and stared at the doctor sitting across from her.  She wasn't sure why she spilled all she had been feeling to this doctor she barely knew when she hadn't mentioned any of this to her family, Brenna or even Gordo.  

    Maybe it was because she seemed so young.  She looked even younger than her thirty-some years today, with her dark hair pulled into a ponytail.  Her caring smile and earnest expression added to the illusion.  She reminded Lizzie of some of the graduate students she worked in the lab with.  Smart, confident, straightforward, but never making you feel dumb or insignificant, treating you as a peer.  She treated her patients that way as well.  Lizzie liked the idea of having patients know as much about what was wrong with them as they could.  To Lizzie, that meant she trusted her patients as intelligent, caring people.  And while Lizzie knew that not all people could be trusted with that responsibility, Lizzie was impressed that she tried.

    "One," Dr. Hensen continued, "is that nearly every med student or doctor feels this way at least once.  It's much more difficult to deal with a medical condition when you're emotionally attached.  That's why doctors very rarely treat their own family, especially for serious treatments like surgeries.  It's much easier to treat someone you're not emotionally attached to."

    Lizzie nodded, feeling slightly better.  "What else?"

    "And two, you can take all the fear and panic you feel and use it to help you."

    Lizzie stared at the doctor blankly, not understanding.

    "You can use it as motivation." Dr. Hensen tried to explain.  "Here's an example.  My mom was diagnosed with lupus when I was two.  She quickly began having more and more health problems.  By the time I was ten, she'd been diagnosed with osteoarthritis, hypothyroidism, a heart murmur, and a severe allergy to yellow dye, which was in some of the pills she had been taking.  While none of those are directly hereditary, my chances of getting one of those was increased since my mom had them.  That terrified me.  I decided right then and there that I was going to be a doctor and stop all that terrible stuff from happening to people.  So while I was going through all my years of school, if I ever got discouraged or felt like slacking off, I'd remember exactly what I was aiming for and that helped keep me motivated."

    Lizzie nodded, understanding.

    "Well, Lizzie, I've got some work to do, but if you even need to talk again, feel free to stop by my office or leave a message with one of the receptionists, okay?"

    Lizzie nodded again, her mind racing.  Dr. Hensen certainly had given her a lot to think about.


	7. A Surprise

my disclaimer: I don't own Lizzie McGuire or any other LM characters.  I don't own any of the schools, websites, books, etc. that may be mentioned in this story.  I don't even really own the idea for this story…got that from a paragraph in a Madeleine L'Engle book…I only own Brenna and Dr. Hensen.  

Ok, I've got a couple of apologies to make.  First off, since I'm not pre-med and have no intention of going to med school, I have very little idea of how the whole applying thing works.  Sorry.  So, I've recently been informed of a couple important details by my roommate, who is pre-med.  Thanks Shee!  So, apparently, the whole application is an online, communal application, so you only fill it out once and it goes to all the schools you apply to.  Nifty.  

Second, I know it's been over a month since I've updated this story…I'm sorry again.  All I have to offer is a bunch of lame excuses for why…writer's block, midterm exams, roommate crises, and a mid-life crisis all make an appearance.  But(!), I've gotten over my writer's block, and (hopefully) figured out what I'm going to do with the rest of my life, so that's two things down…so I promise I'll try to be better about updating and also about reviewing all the fabulous stories.

Third, I'm sorry for the cheesy L/Gness in this chapter.  I had to do it, but the problem with writing fluff or romance is I've got very little decent stuff to base it on.  If I based it off of my life, Gordo would either be a big fat tool or a college drop out/used-car salesman…I don't think so.  So, if you hate it, close your eyes, it's only a few bits.

As always, I would love to hear what y'all think so far, so click the review button for me!  Thanks!

Without further adieu…on to Chapter Seven…

    Three days later, Lizzie was sitting at in her room at home, working intensely on her new essay for her applications.  She had taken Dr. Hensen's advice about using her mother's illness as motivation and decided to make that known to the schools she was applying to.  Lizzie was still frightened to death of being a failure as a doctor, but decided to spend more of her time actually working on the application process, rather than dreading it.  The early application deadline for Stanford was fast approaching, but with her new found motivation, Lizzie had no trouble believing she'd get the forms in on time.  All she was waiting for was her MCAT scores and a letter of recommendation from the veterinarian Lizzie had worked with when she was still pre-vet.  Lizzie had spoken with the clinic the other day and had confirmed that her letter was on its way, along with the MCAT scores Brenna had mailed to her.  Lizzie was expecting them any day now.

    Over the sound of her computer keyboard, Lizzie heard the front door open and the sound of voices floated up the stairs.

    "Lizzie, we're home!" Lizzie's mother called.  She and Lizzie's father had just returned home from the hospital and another dialysis treatment.

    "Hi!" Lizzie called back.  "I'm working on my essays!"  She added, which her family now knew as code for 'Don't disturb me unless it's really important." 

    "Okay."  Her father called back up the stairs.  "You've got some mail down here, and a surprise.  I'll send them both up."

    At his words, Lizzie felt her stomach drop.  That mail was most likely her MCAT scores.  She wasn't sure she wanted to see them anymore.  What if she had failed?  Lizzie shook her head, _you can't fail the MCAT.  _Well, feasibly you could_, she supposed, _but you'd have to do really badly._  And Lizzie knew she couldn't have done that badly, she and Brenna had spent over six months studying hard for the test._

    A knock on her bedroom door let Lizzie know that whoever was carrying her test scores had arrived.  Expecting either her mother, who would want to know every little detail of the letter and would probably cry no matter how Lizzie did, or Matt, who would want to stay and be nosy and find out her exact scores, Lizzie called, "Come in," without looking up from her computer.  She figured she could act busy and then open it later when there was no one around and a little less pressure.  

    Lizzie heard her bedroom door open and nothing else.  Confused, she turned toward the doorway, instantly recognizing the dark curls and boyish grin on the figure standing in her doorway.  

    "Gordo!" She shrieked, bolting from her chair towards him.  Gordo laughed and steadied himself as Lizzie threw her arms around him.

    "It's good to see you too." He told Lizzie, wrapping her arms around her and refusing to let her go for several minutes.

    When Gordo finally let her go, Lizzie took a step back and looked at him.  He looked the same as he always had, but maybe a little older and his hair was a little lighter from the Australian sun.  But his face at the moment was full of concern, a worried glint in his eyes.

    "How are you doing?" He asked, seriously, sitting down on Lizzie's bed.  Lizzie perched on her desk chair, facing Gordo and considered the question.

    "Better." She answered honestly.  "But what are you doing here?" She asked, forgetting about all her problems at the moment.  "I though you had several weeks of work left to do."

    "That was a couple of weeks ago." Gordo replied, grinning.  "But everyone managed to get their butts in gear for the last few weeks and we were able wrap shooting early.  Then Peter decided that most of the post-production stuff needed to be done in L.A., so I'm back!"  He shot his characteristic grin and her, but his face quickly sobered.  "Plus I was worried about you, so I was thinking about coming back early anyway.  So, seriously now, how are you holding up?"  He asked, reaching over and taking hold of her hands.

   Lizzie sighed.  "I'm not really sure." She laughed.  "Everything just goes back and forth…one day will be fine and the next, I'll start losing it again."  

    Gordo nodded, understanding.  "What about your mom?  How's she doing?"

    "She's doing okay, I think.  She's constantly tired, but that's to be expected.  She's on a waiting list for a kidney and she's getting dialysis treatments until then, but it's hard to tell exactly what's going on.  I think she tries to put up a front for me and Matt."

    Gordo nodded again.  "She seemed..." he paused, searching for words, "almost normal.  She was just a friendly as ever, asked me how I was doing and how I liked Australia and how my parents were."

   "She is pretty much the same." Lizzie agreed.  "She still tries to take care of everything when she can and she still yells at me and Matt when we do something dumb, like leaving our stuff by the front door."

    "She invited me to stay for dinner, I hope that's okay."

     Lizzie nodded, grinning.  She couldn't think of anything she'd like better right now.  "I'm glad you're back." She told Gordo.

    Gordo reached over and put his arm around her.  "Me too."


	8. A Celebration

my disclaimer: I don't own Lizzie McGuire or any other LM characters.  I don't own any of the schools, websites, books, etc. that may be mentioned in this story.  I don't even really own the idea for this story…got that from a paragraph in a Madeleine L'Engle book…I only own Brenna and Dr. Hensen.  

Another big thanks to my roommate, who explained the ridiculous scoring methods of the MCAT exam…and a small note to say I won't be able to update until the week of Thanksgiving because I've got three very big exams in the next two weeks.  So all writing and reviewing will be delayed until then.  So wish me luck and I'll see y'all in two weeks!

Loupylou1 and Amanda Lupin – thanks so much for the reviews, I'm glad you like the story.

Kiamn – hmmm…sneaking around isn't a bad idea, except my roommates love lives are possible worse than mine…could make for an interesting story though!  And as for Gordo sticking around…well, we'll see…we've still got a bit to go in the story!

Gabby – I'm so glad it was worth it.  I've been having some terrible writer's block and was relieved to get the last chapter up; I'm thrilled you like it.  

As always, I would love to hear what y'all think so far, good or bad, so click the review button for me!  Thanks!

Without further adieu…on to Chapter Eight…

    Dinner than night put everyone in happier mood than any of the McGuire's had been in for a while.  Lizzie's mother had regained a bit of energy and the addition of Gordo made Lizzie feel as though everything was like it used to be.  She had even forgotten about stressing over her med school applications for the moment.

    Most of the conversation centered around Gordo's internship on the film set.  Lizzie had heard all his stories at least once, but didn't mind hearing them again; Gordo always told stories better in person.  Starting in on her second helping of salad, Lizzie laughed at Gordo's stories about the lead actor in the film, interrupted every minute or so by Matt, who was full of questions.

    It wasn't until after they had all finished eating and Lizzie and Matt were clearing the table that Lizzie's dad asked her, "So, Lizzie, how'd your MCAT scores turn out?"

    Lizzie stared at him for a second, setting the dishes back down on the table.  She'd been so excited when Gordo had surprised her that she didn't even remember that he was supposed to be bringing her the mail.  She glanced at Gordo, who said, "I put them on your dresser when I came in."  Lizzie nodded and raced for the stairs.  She took them three at a time and burst into her room.  Her eyes landed on a legal sized envelope sitting on her dresser, right by the door.  She picked it up and taking a deep breath, ripped open the envelope.  

    She stared at the piece of paper inside for a moment, unable to think.  When her thoughts finally registered again, she could hear Gordo and Matt hollering at her from the kitchen.  Lizzie slowly walked downstairs, adding and re-adding the numbers up in her head.

    "So, what'd you get?" Matt demanded when Lizzie reappeared in the kitchen, holding the envelope, her expression unreadable.

    "I got a 37." Lizzie said, breaking into a huge smile.  She did the math one last time to make sure.  "I got a 37!"

    Looking up, Lizzie could tell that meant nothing to anyone else.  "There's four parts to the MCAT.  Three of them, physical sciences, verbal reasoning and biological sciences are worth up to 15 points each.  So the total you can get is 45.  And the average is…" She checked the back of the piece of paper.  "28.  So I did well.  And the fourth part, the writing section, is scored by letter.  An 'R' means…" She looked at the back of the paper again, "I'm in the 95th percentile.  That's not too bad."  She said, grinning.

    "Lizzie, that's great!"  Her mother was the first to react, getting up to give her a big hug.  Lizzie's father joined them and soon it was a McGuire family hug.

    "Aww…what a Kodak moment!"  Gordo joked from the table.  After Lizzie detached herself from her family, Gordo stood up and gave her a hug and a kiss on the cheek.  "I knew you could do it." He whispered to her.

    "Speaking of Kodak moments…" Matt started, but after a look from his mom, that was as far as he got.

    "To celebrate, I'm giving you both tonight off of dish duty." Lizzie's dad informed them, as he finished clearing the table.  Matt's eyes lit up at the thought.  "Thanks Dad.  I'll see you guys later.  Congrats Lizzie."  He said, tossing a napkin at Lizzie and nearly sprinting toward the front door.

    "Thanks Dad.' Lizzie added, giving him another hug and nearly jumping when the phone rang.  She was still a bit on edge despite the anxiety of waiting being over.  She reached for the phone, knocked it off the base and onto the floor and scrambled across the floor after it.

    "'lo?" she grunted, righting herself on the floor, rubbing her now bruised knee.

    "So?"  Lizzie recognized Brenna's voice instantly.

    "So what?"  She asked, grinning.

    "So, how'd you do?!"  Brenna pleaded over the phone.

    "How'd you know my scores came today?"  Lizzie asked/

    "I'm psychic."  Brenna answered and Lizzie could almost see her straight face to match the answer.  "Plus, I know that it takes three days for a piece of mail to get from Denver to L.A. and I also know I mailed your scores to you four days ago.  So spill!"

    "I got a 37."  Lizzie told her and yanked the phone away from her ear as Brenna sqealed.

    "That's awesome!  I told you you'd do well!  And you did better than I did; I only got a 36!  But look at us, we're going to med school!"  Brenna celebrated over the phone.

    Lizzie talked with Brenna a few more minutes, mostly celebrating their MCAT scores and discussing the last parts of their applications.  When she hung up, Gordo pulled her up from the floor and nearly dragged her to the door.  "We need to celebrate." He told her.

    A few hours later, Gordo and Lizzie were seated on the front steps of the McGuire house, finishing off cups of ice cream.  They had walked the half a mile to the ice cream place next to the Digital Bean and back, talking constantly the entire way.  Lizzie was ecstatic to have Gordo back; she hadn't realized just how much she'd missed him.  

    "When do you have to go back to work?" she asked him, as they both stared up at the darkening sky.

    "Monday." He replied, putting an arm around her and drawing her closer.  "I'm not sure exactly what I'm going to be doing since there's a lot going on now.  There's film editing, sound editing, sound effects, digital and computerized effects, and I don't know what else.  I think whatever I'm going to be working on will be short, since I have to be back at NYU in August."

    "You're going back in August?"  Lizzie asked.

    "Looks like it, yeah.  The school gave me the two years off and they said they'd guarantee me a spot in August.  But after that, I'd have to reapply.  Plus I'm anxious to get back and put the cool stuff I learned to use."

    Lizzie tried to smile, glad that he couldn't see her face.  That was classic Gordo, always ready to take on something new.  But at the same time, Lizzie wished that he didn't have to go all the way back to New York.  It had taken the two of them twenty years to figure out their feelings for one another, and when they finally did, Gordo was leaving for Australia and up until today, Lizzie hadn't seen him since.  It didn't seem fair that they were hardly ever in the same time zone, and that trend was continuing.  Lizzie was set to head back to Colorado on Sunday; she had been home for two weeks, and while she wanted to be with her mom and her family, she needed to get back to Denver for work and a summer class that would be starting soon.  

    Lizzie sighed inwardly and reminded herself that Gordo was here now and that's what counted.  She only wished she believed that.

    "What's wrong?" Gordo asked, perceptive as ever.

    "I'm flying back to Denver in two days.  It just doesn't seem fair…" Lizzie's voice caught and she stopped.  Gordo pulled her closer to him and leaned his head against hers.

    "I know it sucks."  Gordo's voice was low.  "But it's not for much longer.  Then we'll have our whole lives to be with each other."

    "What?"  Lizzie pulled away from Gordo and stared at him.  Did he really say what she thought he said?

    "What?" Gordo asked back, confused.

    "What did you just say?" Lizzie asked.  "It sounded like…"

    Gordo smiled.  "Lizzie, I told you years ago I'd marry you."

     Lizzie thought about that for a moment.  "But Gordo, we were in second grade!"

    "And I meant it." Gordo told her seriously and the look in his eyes told Lizzie everything.


	9. Leaving

my disclaimer: I don't own Lizzie McGuire or any other LM characters.  I don't own any of the schools, websites, books, etc. that may be mentioned in this story.  I don't even really own the idea for this story…got that from a paragraph in a Madeleine L'Engle book…I only own Brenna and Dr. Hensen.  

Ok…this is absolutely the last time I say "I'll have another chapter up in a few days!", because every time I do, I either get writer's block or something and it's another month before I'm able to update.  So, from now on, I will work hard at making timely updates, but I make no promises as to exactly when.

Reviewchick14 – thanks for such great comments and the good luck wishes.  I'm glad that all my medical babble hasn't weighed the story down too much, but it's something I know a bit about and can relate to…so I write what I know!

I3itterSweet and loopylou1 – I'm glad you both like it.  And as for a definite proposal, keep on reading and we'll see!  And as far as a sequel, again, we'll see.  This is already a sequel to the original LM story I wrote, so I'm not sure how I feel about another sequel, but who knows?!  Maybe if I have another burst of inspiration…but I do have another LM fic in the works; I'm very excited about it, so hopefully it'll be ready for posting soon.

Gabby – yeah…it always seems like the most random stuff happens in second grade and I know Lizzie has known Gordo "since she was one day old"…so yeah.  Thanks again for the great reviews!

Amanda – thanks so much for pointing out the typos.  I really do appreciate it…I typically try to be really good about proofreading and all that, but I must have missed a bunch.  But I went back through and edited the last chapter, so hopefully it's error free!

Kirsten – augh…isn't o-chem the worst?!  I'm a microbiology student myself, so naturally, I despise anything to do with chemistry.  And it's finally done!  I've got my lecture final on Friday and then no more o-chem ever!  I hope…  But I digress…thanks for the great comments.  I really like Jo too, she's always such a strong character.  One of my favorite episodes is "Mom's Best Friend" cause you get to see more of her personality, and not just as Lizzie's mom.

    Two days later, Lizzie was on a plane to Denver, still reeling from the events of the past two weeks.  Her mind drifted to the evening two days ago and her conversation with Gordo.

    Lizzie had sat, speechless and shocked for several moments, trying to grasp what Gordo had just said.  Finally she gave up and leaned back against him, smiling.  They stayed like that for a while, Lizzie wasn't sure how long, not saying anything, just being comfortable with each other.

    But somewhere in Lizzie's head, doubts started creeping in as they had so often the past few weeks.  She tried to push them out of her head and concentrate on something else, but they kept coming back.  Just as they were about to overwhelm her, she spoke.

    "But what if it doesn't work?"

    "What?" Gordo turned and looked at her, a questioning expression on his face.

    "What if it doesn't work?" she repeated quietly.  "What if our lives end up being too different?"

    "What are you talking about?" Gordo asked again, clearly not following her.

    "You're gonna be a big director.  I want to be a doctor.  When you're done with school, you're done.  I've got a ton of years left for med school and then a residency and I'll end up who knows where.  And you'll be traveling all over the place making movies and…" Lizzie's voice caught again and she blinked back tears.  The expression on Gordo's face told Lizzie she was scaring him.  She was scaring herself too.  "How do we know it's gonna work?"

    Gordo sighed.  After a moment, he took Lizzie's hands in his.  "Because I know." He said slowly.  "Lizzie, I've known you for longer than I can remember and you're still my best friend.  Think of all the stuff we've been through.  Elementary, middle and high school, remember those?  All the fights and traumas and all that crap?  And look at us now.  We just spent a year and a half on opposite sides of the world and there's still nothing I'd rather do than be with you."

    Lizzie stopped trying to hold back her tears.

    "And it doesn't matter if we end up with different lives." Gordo continued.  "I'd give up all of that just to be with you.  You know that." He added pointedly and Lizzie nodded remembering how he almost did.

    Brenna met Lizzie at the Denver airport, full of questions about Lizzie's trip and stories about the time she was gone.  

    "Oh, and Dr. Rock mailed you a copy of the letter of recommendation he'll be sending to your schools." Brenna said, pulling into the small parking lot in their apartment complex.  "And we're supposed to go into see Lisa soon so she can go over all our application stuff and we can get it all sent."  Lizzie nodded silently, suddenly realizing how much she hadn't gotten done in the last few weeks.  

    Lizzie and Brenna managed to lug her overstuffed suitcase and backpack up the stairs and into the apartment.  

    "I think it can stay there for a bit." Brenna wheezed, rubbing her arm, as the cumbersome suitcase sat in the middle of the floor.  

    Lizzie smiled.  "I think I can take it from here."  She said, as she wheeled the suitcase into her room.  Brenna followed her, glaring.

    "It has wheels!  Then why didn't we wheel it into the apartment?"  She demanded.

    "It's more fun to see you struggle with it." Lizzie grinned, tossing her bag on the floor next to her suitcase.  

    "You want some help unpacking?" Brenna asked.

    Lizzie shook her head and sat down on her bed.  "I think I'm just gonna rest for a while." She said, suddenly feeling very fatigued.  

    Brenna nodded.  "Let me know if you need anything." She told Lizzie before closing the door.  After a moment, she stuck her head back in Lizzie's room and said, "And I'm glad you're back."

    Lizzie smiled back at her roommate and waited until she closed the door.  She put her head in her hands and sighed.  While her trip home had been anything but relaxing and painless, Lizzie had thought she'd feel better after being at home for a bit.  But now, she felt worse.  It seemed like everything was piling up against her and she could only scramble in hope of keeping up.  All she wanted right now was to crawl into a cave and ignore the rest of the world.  So she did the next best thing.  She crawled into bed and pulled her heavy comforter up over her head and closed her eyes, blocking out the world.


	10. Everything Looks Great

my disclaimer: I don't own Lizzie McGuire or any other LM characters.  I don't own any of the schools, websites, books, etc. that may be mentioned in this story.  I don't even really own the idea for this story…got that from a paragraph in a Madeleine L'Engle book…I only own Brenna and Dr. Hensen.  

Amanda Lupin – I promise to work harder on updating in a reasonable amount of time…I have to do that too with some stories; I'll recognize the title, but have no clue what has happened so far in the story!  So, I will work harder on that.  Thanks for the input!

Kirsten – I have plenty of days where I want to crawl in bed and stay there too!  Congrats on getting through o-chem, I made it too…no more o-chem ever!  It's a great feeling isn't it?

Gabby – I chant with you…med school! Med school!  All I have to say is I'm glad I'm not going…I couldn't handle all the stress!  I'm glad you like it.

And I want to thank you girls, and anyone who's been reading, for sticking with this; I know it's going really slow right now.  But (I think) I finally have figured out where I'm taking this…took me 10 chapters to figure it out, but hopefully it'll pick up a bit.  So thanks for reading, and good, bad, let me know what you think.

    Lizzie slowly awoke to the sound of her name.

    "Lizzie?"  Brenna's voice was slightly muffled through the closed door.  "Are you up?  We've got classes in an hour."

    Lizzie rolled over and groaned.  She felt like she had been hit by a truck.  Her stomach was tied in knots, her muscles ached, her eyes hurt, and her head was throbbing.  The last thing she wanted to do was go to class.  

    "Lizzie?" Brenna's voice started to sound concerned.

    "I'm up, Bren." Lizzie called through the door.  "Almost…" she muttered to herself, wanting to bury herself in her comforter again.  She listened to Brenna's footsteps grow fainter as she walked away from Lizzie's door and into the kitchen and Lizzie pushed herself into a sitting positing on her bed.  The clock on her nightstand read 8:04.  This first day of Lizzie's literature class and she had less than an hour to get there.  She sighed, dredged up as much energy as she could and climbed out of bed.

    Half an hour later, Lizzie had showered, dressed, thrown her hair in a ponytail, downed a cup of coffee and was halfway ready to face the day.  She packed her school notebook, her new literature book and her laboratory research notebook in her bag and searched for her shoes.  Only after digging through her large suitcase and the pile of semi unpacked stuff on her floor did Lizzie realize her shoes were under her bed.  She quickly pulled them on, grabbed her bag and raced to the front door of the apartment, where Brenna was waiting, her backpack in one hand and a brown paper bag in the other.  She handed it to Lizzie, saying, "It's your lunch.  You're gonna be on campus all day."  She grinned and practically dragged Lizzie out the door and to her car.

    "You're working till five, right?"  Brenna asked Lizzie as they got out of Brenna's car in the student parking lot.  

    "Right." Lizzie nodded.  She was going straight from her class to the lab.

    "Okay."  Brenna nodded.  "I'll pick you up about 5:15, I get off at five as well."  Lizzie nodded again and they headed their separate directions, Lizzie to her literature class and Brenna to her history class.

    Lizzie made it to her class with eight minutes to spare.  She grabbed a seat in the second row, looked around and realized she was most decidedly out of place.  Though her major was biology, Lizzie had to take a couple of literature and history classes to complete her core education requirements for the university.  Looking around, Lizzie had never seen any of the people around her before and guessed that most of them were liberal arts majors.  Feeling slightly self-conscious, as if people could tell she was a biology major just by looking at her, Lizzie sunk a bit lower in her chair and pretended to be completely absorbed in her literature book.

    Lizzie wandered around the second floor of the biology building, feeling a bit lost.  She decided to spend her half hour lunch break talking about her med school applications with the university's pre-med advisor, Lisa Thompson.  Lizzie had visited with Lisa several times, but today was feeling a little disoriented and took nearly ten minutes to locate Lisa's office.  She knocked on the open door and stuck her head in, hoping Lisa wasn't busy.

    "Lizzie, hi!"  Lisa greeted her with a smile.  Lizzie returned the smile halfheartedly.

    "I've got all my application materials ready." She said, seating herself in a chair across from Lisa and pulling an overstuffed manila envelope from her bag.  She handed it to Lisa who quickly rifled through the contents, separating the papers into piles.  

    "Everything looks great, Lizzie." She said with a smile.  "You've got your transcripts, academic information, applications.  The only thing you're missing is your personal statement.  Have you started that?"

    Lizzie hesitated.  She had started it, but was having a great deal of difficulty putting in writing exactly why she wanted to go to medical school.  "It's almost done." She fibbed.

    "Excellent." Lisa smiled again.  "Once that is done, you'll be able to send everything out.  The letters of recommendation are sent directly from the author to the school, so you'll have to let whoever is writing your letters know where you're applying."  Lizzie nodded; she had already sent pre-addressed, stamped envelopes to her professors who were writing her letters.

    "Then you're great." Lisa told Lizzie handing the envelope.  Lizzie thanked her and left.  Outside in the hallway, Lizzie paused for a moment, fighting the overwhelming lump that had formed in her throat.  She certainly didn't feel great.


End file.
